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Utilizing Mediation for Divorce
Divorce mediation allows both parties to identify, negotiate, and resolve the issues raised by the decision to divorce. The mediator establishes firm ground rules and a comfortable environment so that emotionally charged issues can be discussed. The mediator helps both spouses gather necessary information and review it systematically. A mediator often helps formulate a more creative solution than the court could offer. When parenting agreements and financial distribution plans are made by the spouses themselves, there is a better chance of meeting the needs of the entire family.
Mediated divorces typically take less time and have a higher rate of long-range parental cooperation and fewer costs associated with multiple return visits to court. The mediator remains neutral between the husband and the wife. Importantly, the mediator cannot give advice to either party, and also cannot act as a lawyer for either party; however, the mediator may provide information about the legal system, how issues may be viewed by lawyers or judges, and what alternatives there are for solving issues. The mediator can point out in open sessions to both spouses things that they both need to consider in the decision-making process. That exchange of information frees up both spouses to negotiate with each other in confidence. When necessary, the mediator will refer the couple to third-party experts for services such as appraisals.
Mediation is Less Expensive & Less Acrimonious
- Many litigation lawyers charge a retainer fee of between $3,500 and $20,000 (for each spouse) for most average litigation cases and bill the client for services in addition to the time covered by the retainer. Once this initial retainer is exhausted, the attorney will charge a new retainer or invoice the client monthly. The retainer amount will be substantially more in complex cases, involving custody disputes or complex financial disputes.
- The total cost for both spouses from the beginning to end for a mediation divorce can be less than one retainer made by one spouse in a litigated divorce. A good range of the total cost of a mediation divorce is between $3,500 - $9,000, but of course, circumstances may vary.
- “Cost” should be measured not only in dollars spent but also in the emotional cost to the parties and their children, which can also be significantly less in a mediated divorce.
Independent Attorney / Review Counsel for Mediation
The best mediation client is an informed and educated client. Because knowledge is golden, a good divorce mediator strongly encourages a mediation client to meet with an independent attorney to provide each spouse with independent legal advice and the knowledge necessary to make long-lasting, educated, informed decisions.
Some spouses may choose to meet with their reviewing attorney at the end of the mediation process so they can look over all the financial documents prepared in mediation and the draft separation agreement. Some spouses go to a review at attorney only once at the beginning of the process, others go to an independent attorney a the beginning and end of mediation, and others don’t go at all.
An independent reviewing attorney charges by the hour and the cost should not be more than one to three total hours of his or her hourly rate.
Finalizing the Divorce in Court
If you use a mediator who is also an attorney, they can help you file all the court paperwork which can include:
- starting the dissolution of marriage action
- preparing and filing the necessary financial disclosure agreement, and final papers to be presented to the court
Often a state marshal or sheriff does not need to be used to serve the divorce papers if a waiver of service is signed by the defendant in the presence of a divorce mediation who is also an attorney. In Connecticut, the divorce mediator frequently attends the final hearing and assists the couple at this appearance. The mediator will be the person who will canvas the spouses about the agreements reached rather than the Judge.
[1] Most family law cases resolve without a trial; however, in the context of the "flat fee" option we are referring to "uncontested cases" where both parties want to dissolve their marriage, agree on most issues, believe the case can be resolved on their own, but would still like an attorney to help navigate the system.
The short answer is yes. Many litigation lawyers charge a retainer fee between $2,500 and $10,000 (for each spouse) for most average litigation cases and bill the client for services in addition to the time covered by the retainer. Once this initial retainer is exhausted, the attorney will charge a new retainer or invoice the client monthly. The retainer amount will be substantially more in complex cases, involving custody disputes or complex financial disputes.
How long a mediated divorce takes depends on the complexity of the issues and the ability of the individuals to be flexible as they negotiate a fair agreement. The average mediated divorce case takes approximately four to five sessions (1-2 hours each) spread out over 3 or 4 months. More complex cases can take up to 6 months to complete.
No case is too complicated to be settled using mediation. If your case is complex, we might engage outside experts such as; an accountant, appraiser, financial planner, or certified financial analyst to clarify issues and provide various options. Experienced family mediators have numerous skills, tools, and resources to help couples reach decisions. Couples who are committed to staying out of litigation and avoiding draining their joint savings will reach workable and equitable agreements. The role of a well-trained, mature, intelligent, professional mediator is to facilitate and guide spouses through the most painful and complex chapter of their life. If you reach an impasse, you did not fail. The mediator’s job is to reduce the fear, to educate, empower, and provide you with creative solutions to get through any impasses and help guide you beyond the finish line.
It is fairly rare to agree on all but one or two issues, but even if that is the case, mediation is seldom wasted. An agreement can be prepared on all settled issues, and the parties can either litigate the remaining issues or take further time to think about and come back to mediation. A well-trained neutral mediation lawyer will teach you about free “safety net options” existing within your jurisdiction that are available to help settle your case BEFORE you consider litigating your case.
No case is too complicated to be settled using mediation. If your case is complex, we might engage outside experts such as an accountant, appraiser, financial planner, or certified financial analyst to clarify issues and provide various options. Trained experienced family mediators to have numerous skills, tools, and resources to help couples reach decisions. Couples who are committed to staying out of litigation, and who want to avoid draining joint savings in needless legal welfare, will reach workable, equitable agreements. The role of a well-trained, mature, intelligent, professional mediator is to facilitate and guide spouses through the most painful and complex chapter of their life. If you reach an impasse, you do not fail. The mediator’s job is to reduce the fear, educate, empower, and provide you with creative solutions to get through the impasse and help guide you beyond the finish line.
Divorce mediation IS confidential. State law says that no one, not even the two parties, can use their negotiations as evidence in court should litigation be used in the future. When you meet with a divorce mediator, they will discuss the confidentiality rules applicable in Connecticut.
It is fairly rare to agree on all but one or two issues, but even if that is the case, mediation is seldom wasted. An agreement can be prepared on all settled issues, and the parties can either litigate the remaining issues or take further time to think about them and come back to mediation. A well-trained neutral attorney-mediator will teach you about free “safety net options” existing within your jurisdiction, available to help settle your case BEFORE you consider litigating your case.
While mediation is often recommended for couples who are amicable and can work well together, mediation may also work for some couples who are very emotional about the separation and don’t think they can negotiate face to face. A well-trained divorce mediation attorney is able to assist couples who have high emotions, but who still want to work things out peacefully. People calm down and become effective mediation participants when they see that the process can work without the high emotional and financial cost of litigation. The presence of a neutral third party, who allows time and space for each spouse to be heard, can be reassuring and calming.
A mediator is a neutral party specially trained to help couples resolve the issues in their divorce. The mediator facilitates the communication between the parties by making sure each party is given an uninterrupted time to speak, asking a party to restate or explain a point when necessary, and asking questions to make communication clear. The mediator also provides information about the legal system, how issues may be viewed by lawyers or judges, and what alternatives there are for solving issues. When necessary, the mediator will refer the couple to third-party experts for services such as appraisals.
Simply put, you should consider mediation for your divorce because mediation saves time, emotions, and money. You and your spouse remain in control. Unlike a litigated divorce, you have control because you and your spouse make decisions about all aspects of your divorce.
The best mediation client is an informed and educated client. Because knowledge is golden, a good divorce mediator strongly encourages a mediation client to meet with an independent attorney to provide each spouse with independent legal advice and the knowledge necessary to make long-lasting, educated, informed decisions.
Some spouses may choose to meet with their reviewing attorney at the end of the mediation process so they can look over all the financial documents prepared in mediation and the draft separation agreement. Some spouses meet with a reviewing attorney only once, at the beginning of the process; others go to a reviewing attorney at the beginning and end of mediation, and others don’t go at all.
An independent reviewing attorney charges by the hour and the cost should not be more than one to two hours of his or her hourly rate.
If you use a mediator who is also an attorney, they can help you file all the court paperwork which can include: starting the dissolution of marriage action, preparing and filing the necessary financial disclosure agreement, and final papers to be presented with the court. A state marshal or sheriff does not need to be used to serve the divorce papers if a waiver of service is signed by the defendant in the presence of a divorce mediator who is also an attorney. In Connecticut, the divorce mediator attorney attends the final hearing and assists the couple at this appearance. The mediator will be the person who will canvas or cross-examine the spouses about the agreements reached rather than the Judge.
How long a mediated divorce takes depends on the complexity of the issues and the ability of the individuals to be flexible as they negotiate a fair agreement. The average mediated divorce case takes at least four to five sessions (2-3 hours each) spread out over 3 or 4 months. More complex cases can take up to 6 months to complete.
The cost of mediated divorce cases in Connecticut is directly associated with the complexity of each situation. Every family is unique, hence every separation is unique. In a typical case, parties can expect to pay a combined total (total for both spouses) of between $3,500.00 - $9,000.00 depending on the total number of sessions needed. Connecticut court filing fees are $350.00.
If your divorce requires the services of independent experts, they typically charge upfront retainers while others have a pay-as-you-go process. The cost of each spouse’s independent attorney for consulting and review of the mediated agreement is separate from fees charged by the divorce mediation attorney. However, the cost is usually minimal as most review counsel charges one or two hours of their time.
Yes. Once a settlement agreement is signed by both spouses and subsequently entered as a court order at the final court hearing, the agreement reached in the process of mediation is enforceable.
The professional you hire controls the process and will discontinue mediation if control or domination occurs in sessions. If one of the parties is unable to be effective during this process, the mediation process will stop. However, many people who have considered themselves the “weaker” of the two spouses have been quite effective in mediation. As an unsophisticated spouse of a very powerful business executive one said, “I have the power to say no, and my spouse better listen or we’ll wind up in court.” If physical and/or emotional abuse, financial abuse, or overall financial mistrust exists, litigation may be optimal. An experienced and reputable divorce mediator will not take cases where physical, emotional, or financial abuse actively occurs.